Swallow

Swallow

Snow falls like pillows
And God seems more far away
Than ever on this winter dawn,
Orange fastened to the sky like velcro
And I can’t rip it off, tear back
The color and make it dull again.
My son sleeps, crooked
As a curved spine in my bed,
Not his. My bed all night long.
He is afraid of his mind, of monsters
He cannot see or feel or play
Chess with at his little desk.
I smoke on the concrete of my stoop
And wonder if a man will ever love me,
Take me in like an orphan
And swallow up my fears
Like baby sparrows swallow worms.
The taste is good to some
If you trust what you’re given.
I wake my son; it is time for school.
Another day of learning and forgetting
All that was said. Another day of open
Mouths that do not speak, of hearts
That shatter like ceramic plates.
Of God who never comes to warm the air.

1/12/07