Tear Them Down

There is one thing to be independent, to be a strong, self-efficient woman in today's society, there is another thing to purposely wall people out of your life because you are frightened of control, of manipulation, of being vulnerable. No one can control us unless we allow it, and most of the times, what we may consider control, is just plain an attempt, a pleading to heal. I value my vulnerability, my honesty of self, my giving of my heart even though it may not be returned in the way I need it to. That is my control, my desire to have it my way. And that is wrong. There is no one way, no one right, no one wrong. There is an essential balance to the world, if we just open our eyes up to it. We can share our lives with others, even men, without burying ourselves in the process. I value my freedom, but that does not mean I can overlook my values and morals and feelings of others, just to attain what I think i need at that moment. To be selfless is to have freedom. To be aware of the importance of our life and our self and our wants and needs, but don't forget to weigh everything else. What are we sacrificing for our so-called Independence? How much more are we losing out on in the process? I don't want to be walled in. To be truly free, the walls have to crash down, the masks have to rot in the gutters, the heart has to open, large open slit in the chest and all. For all to see and all to love. I am alone now, but I will never be alone, not when I have myself, my god, my son, my heart, his heart. I have had love and it is still in me, feathering all the insides. That love makes me who I truly am. And that is where my freedom lies.