Rehab Journal

Day Three:

I really felt like today was a good day. It feels delightful to have one of those again, to not just waste the day away in glum and sorrow and self-pity. I didn't isolate myself today, yet nor was I a plucky, social butterfly. It felt balanced and serene. I managed to get some exercise and meditation in today, which I feel is extremely beneficial to my recovery and overall physical and mental health. I only cried once, for a mere two minutes after group, when I learned that one has to be here 30 days before a day pass can be given out. I panicked, felt despair at the thought of not being able to spend Christmas day with my son. That thought saddens me very much, but sacrifices must be made. And if I have to give up this one holiday in order to share every following one with him, then that is a sacrifice I am willing to make. I had a very nice visit with my son, Connor, today. I gave him the grand tour, showed him off to the other women, stuffed him with juice and pastries, played sudoku, and had some light-hearted chit-a-chat. I hadn't realized how much I missed him until he was here. I am so proud of his strength and sensitivity. Even with all my faults and mistakes, I managed to raise a very bright and polite young man. How lucky I am. I haven't had one craving today, which is rare, but lovely. I miss my boyfriend immensely. Patience has never been my strong suit.I suppose this is my opportunity to learn.