Rehab Journal

Day Fifty-Eight:

I've been in a kind of blah daze today. I'm not sure if it's hormonal or the effects of my sensitivity to grief and loss class and the homework I had to share today. Perhaps, it's a blurry, mixed concoction of all three. My good, dear friend, Randi graduated today and is off for Tennessee. But I've been extra sleepy and isolating a bit and just not plain as perky as I normally am. But that's okay. I'm going to give myself permission to have days like this sometimes. I'm feeling these emotions, even though they aren't the greatest of feelings, but I'm feeling them. And that is what is important. feeling them without drinking. Feeling them without escaping or running away. Feelings them without piling on all the happy masks, pretending nothing is wrong. I feel, it hurts, I don't know exactly what it's from, and that's ok. I can survive this. I truly am much stronger than I previously thought. Call the papers, the news crews..Souza's having a breakthrough...it's a miracle.